Cru Jones Society

Dear Television and Appliance Repair Stores,

I begin this letter stating that I had no idea appliance repair stores still existed. I figured this disposable, when something breaks just get a new one, wasteful society had rendered these establishments modern day buggy whip industries. As someone who wastes almost nothing - I have a blue dress shirt from Gap that I received in high school still in heavy rotation - I was pleased to find a multitude of such establishments still alive and kicking due to the recent status of my bedroom television. Continue Reading »

Dear Car Warranty Jerks,

Yes, it may be true, that my car’s warranty has in fact recently expired. However I question the logic in your business practices. You have been calling me in an attempt to sell an extended warranty for my vehicle for roughly the last 6 months. I do not appreciate finding the second half of your automated recorded message on my voicemail roughly once a week, and I most certainly do not appreciate your practice of putting me on hold should I actually make the choice to “press 1 to speak with a representative.” Granted, I only do this to repeatedly request that I be put on your do not call list.

Continue Reading »

Dear men of the 18^th floor,

Why are you the way you are? I hate so much about all the things that you choose to be. I have witnessed two of you in the act, but I suspect there are more of you than I think. Why is this so difficult? Why can’t you take 10 seconds to save the rest of us a moment of annoyance and mild disgust? To reiterate: Why are you the way you are? Continue Reading »

Dear Blockbuster,

I ‘m writing to you today in an attempt to help you out. While visiting one of your fine establishments last night, noticeable things made the experience somewhat unpleasant. Now if you want to stay afloat in a world with Netflix, On Demand television, and the Internet some things will have to be changed.

You have a collection of thousands of movie titles, but you apparently don’t have the space for them. Browsing through the non-new releases I came upon DVDs on their sides stacked on top of each other. Being in retail for longer than I’d like to admit, I have learned that consumers are more apt to purchase items that are displayed neatly. Also in a world of A.D.D. people want a quick look at the cover and title. Reading a stack of DVD titles takes more time than people want to spend picking a movie. So instead of selling posters, use that room for your main product.

With so many movies at your disposal why must you pick the most annoying one to play on you in store televisions? And it’s left on the most obnoxious part, the animated menu that loops every minute. It’s enough to make one leave without a purchase, and turn them off from renting the movie that was playing. After the menu replayed twice, I am certain, now more than ever, that “Alvin and The Chipmunks “would never make it into my home.

Ok Blockbuster, those were just a few suggestions to improve your store before you lose another customer to the conveniences and lack of annoyances of other home movie viewing options. Please take this letter into consideration.

Sincerely,

L. Hart - Customer # 536948231