Cru Jones Society

Back in May, I wrote this:

“I am a phone call away from ordering Showtime just so I can watch Season 2 of “Dexter” On Demand before Season 3 starts. The Internet serves as my perennial bamboo shoots under the fingernails as I resist on an hourly basis spoiling the whole goddamn series for myself. I want to see how the series unfolds that badly. I endlessly wonder about the fate of the Ice Truck Killer. I ponder if Dexter can adhere to the Code of Harry. I contemplate how long he can keep this up. I’m losing my mind… I’ll have a more thorough breakdown of this series once I’ve digested more of it. If I were to write it now, it would be nothing more than drooling fanboy fellatio.”

Well, I’ve digested all I can digest without reading spoilers, so it’s time we re-visit my favorite show on television. Welcome to the wonderful world of Dexter. Please come in. I cannot, however, make any promises about avoiding drooling fanboy fellatio… Continue Reading »

It seems that in the evolution of creating one’s brand, the current chic thing to do is to create a reality show around yourself. Whereas endorsement deals used to be enough to keep any celebrity in the public eye when between actual, art-creating jobs, our present, obsessive love-hate relationship with celebrities dictates that a weekly series featuring the mundanities of everyday life become the new branding mechanism.

If you’re a celebrity in decline - head off to “The Surreal Life” to mainline some low-level publicity. If you’re in decline, and happen to have packed on some extra pounds - “Celebrity Fit Club” it is! And if you’re looking for complete humiliation, chances are excellent VH-1 is just itching to give you your own series where you can break down, get completely emasculated by your wife/girlfriend, go through the soul-crushing process of rehab, and be revealed as an extremely maladjusted, narcissistic creep.

For those not yet on the downswing of their careers, E! and MTV are more than happy to accommodate you. And many a celebrity has jumped onboard. However, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, the late Anna Nicole Smith, any of those worthless fuckers from “The Hills” - these people don’t concern me. They can take on as many reality shows as they damn well please. Just please stop ruining people I actually respect. That’s all I ask. Here are the five worst examples. Continue Reading »

It may be that I watched “Friends” for the first time in eons tonight. It may be that whenever I hang out with my mom, some of my jokes bounce off her like I’m Chandler and that she’s incapable of detecting deadpan like many of the unsuspecting supporting characters serving as the targets of his dry wit over the 10 seasons of Friends. It may be that I saw Jennifer Aniston wearing a bathing suit in the tabloids this week. It may be that I have no reason at all.

Whatever it is, it’s high time we analyze what it would be like to sleep with each character on the show “Friends.” Are you with me? Of course you are! You’re a Cru Jones Society reader! Continue Reading »

It’s that time of the year when the weather begins to cool, the leaves are on the brink of changing colors, and television is gearing up for new episodes and new series. I can’t say I’m looking forward to any new series, despite NBC’s best efforts to promote them. You watched the Olympics; you know what I’m talking about. Christian Slater is his own worst enemy! Molly Shannon plays plans to annoy the piss out of you… AGAIN!

Sure I’m looking forward to “The Office” and “30 Rock,” but who isn’t? What follows are the four other shows that I’m really looking forward to. Don’t touch that dial, or wait, um touch that mouse and read on? Continue Reading »

In this age of too much media, every show comes out on DVD now. Mediocre shows lasting only two seasons like CBS’s “Jericho” get DVD treatment despite failing to draw a big enough audience to warrant keeping it on the air in the first place. Even worse, shows that only lasted one season like “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” are readily available for second helpings even though most people didn’t want a first. Although, it’s nice to know that no matter how badly a show bombed in the ratings, the odds are favorable that you’ll see it on DVD so the producers can make some of their investment back. Truth is, I loved “Studio 60″ and will probably own this on DVD someday, but judging by how annoyed most everyone else was by the ironic emotional detachment of the characters and the overwritten, fast-paced dialogue, I think I’m in the minority here.

It’s with the idea of releasing a DVD of a show only produced for one season that I find myself baffled today. It astounds me that there are still shows I’d like to see yet to be released on DVD. You’d think by now that every show ever made would be ready for your consumption with the click of your mouse. I mean, really, who likes shows like “Coach,” “Dinosaurs,” “The Facts of Life,” and “JAG” enough to want to re-watch them years later? Apparently, someone. These shows are all sitting there ripe for the pickings awaiting your patronage. Jesus, who wants to own three seasons of “Coach?” I just don’t get it. Can you imagine having this box set sitting on your shelf? I mean, what would people think? And I liked the show. But I’d never, ever own it. Continue Reading »

When CJS reader Gutter asked for a post on American Gladiators, I immediately jumped at the chance to write it. Neither Hart nor Limon had seen enough of the new version to comment conclusively, and, growing up, I had a huge boner for this show. Along with professional wrestling and the Chicago Cubs, American Gladiators was one of my childhood obsessions. So, before we discuss the new show, I think it important to reflect on the original. It was after all, one of the hallmark shows of our youth. Continue Reading »

I realize that I am probably the only heterosexual male in America that is actually looking forward to the premier of Season 4 of So You Think You Can Dance on Fox this Thursday (8/7c), but I really do love this show. I’m not really a fan of American Idol or any of the other formula talent competitions out there, but something about So You Think You Can Dance sucked me in from the first episode last season and I’m excited to see what this year has to offer.

Continue Reading »

The two hour season finale of Dexter: Season 1 airs on CBS this Sunday, and I’m practically tearing the leather off my office chair armrests waiting for it. Continue Reading »

 Live from your desktop it’s Saturday Night.

Before “30 Rock” aired this past Thursday, the commercial before hand promoted the show by letting the viewers know of all the awards it had received. Thus showcasing the ascent of Tina Fey to super stardom. This got me to thinking about the success of other SNL alum, more specifically, which cast member has been the most successful. (Sorry, Haratio Sans, it’s not you.) Continue Reading »