Cru Jones Society

It wouldn’t be the Olympics on NBC without a giant cock slap of promotion across your face every damn night, now would it? Two years ago I wrote about the poor sap that has to schedule this rotating carousel of vomitous promotional excess with the following passage:

“People who work at television stations are generally insane as it is, they’re moreso during events with live coverage and repetitive commercials. This is especially true when a network is forcing a couple of  semi-wretched looking shows down everyone’s throat and has to air the promos for them to fill in during extra commercial breaks on top of the already excessive scheduled airings.”

Glad to see nothing has changed at NBC in the last two years. But what of the shows they’re force feeding us this year? Let’s take a look… Continue Reading »

Our guest columnist has had a family emergency arise, and we’ll look for his post (hopefully) next week. We wish he and his family the best. In the meantime, since we’re ostensibly a comedy website, here are six relatively new TV comedies we have great hope and excitement for as the 21^st century marches into adolescence. Continue Reading »

I have definitely watched my fair share of television over the past ten years. And with that much programming you would think this list would have been harder, but it really wasn’t because it turns out a lot of what I watched were reruns of 90’s shows. I was able to move past those and give new shows a chance and this list consists of those shows. But first, a word from our sponsors. Continue Reading »

We wrap up our end of the decade feature here at CJS this week with television. We’ve got an excellent guest columnist lined up for Thursday, but as always, Hart and I will get you started.

As I approached this one, I thought it necessary to make two important statements before you digest my 5 Favorite TV Shows 0f the ‘00s. 1) My rampant immaturity and whole being-in-college from 2000-2006 means I didn’t have a lot of time for dramas. So you won’t see but one on this list. Besides, I generally don’t give a crap about procedural crime dramas and relate to the world better from a comedic standpoint anyway. So there’s that. 2) For the vast majority of this decade I didn’t have HBO, so if you’re wondering why none of those excellent shows appear here, there you go. With that out of the way, here are E Dagger’s 5 Favorite TV Shows 0f the ‘00s. Continue Reading »

One of the only benefits of being home sick – by the way, I’m in that super awesome phase of hacking my lungs out all day on the road to recovery – is that you get to watch awesome daytime television. Even though Drew Carey is redefining levels of awful as the new “Price Is Right” host, the games are so much fun, you can’t help but still love the show. And did you know they remade “Let’s Make a Deal”? (I’m) Wayne Brady (Bitch!) is the host and people still inexplicably dress in costumes and win things like outdoor theaters and get zonked. Although it feels more sanitized than the 1970s version (what doesn’t?), I still got a big kick out of it, which is about all you can hope for on a sick day.

Of course, neither “The Price Is Right” or “Let’s Make a Deal” hold a candle to the sheer entertainment value and unintentional hilarity of a Brinks Home Security commercial. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Then you’ve obviously never had your front door kicked in Van Damme-style while you casually jogged on the treadmill, have you? Continue Reading »

Ahhh, the innocence of youth. The whole world is ahead is of you. You don’t have a job. You don’t pay taxes. You have summers off. And you believe the celebrities you have a crush on might actually like you back someday. We asked you to revisit this idyllic time in your lives and share with us your answer to the question: Who was your childhood celebrity crush?

CJS Staff & Regulars share the first people to put a tingle in their bottom in this week’s Confessional. As always, we have a new question for you to consider this week after this week’s responses. So pull out your cootie catcher and find if the object of your love hearts you back. Continue Reading »

This weekly feature on the Cru Jones Society has been running since January 11 and invites CJS Staff and Regulars to share their answers to a weekly prompt.

What is the Monday Confessional?

That is correct, and welcome to another edition. The CJS loves Jeopardy! but thinks the interview segment bites. In our experience, we’ve only seen one truly good interview and that was a guy who admired some broadcaster who regularly called games at Madison Square Garden and aspired to do that one day himself. Through hard work and some good luck, his college basketball team serendipitously played there and he was fortunate enough to realize his dream by doing play-by-play for them. Simple, elegant, and interesting. Good for him.

However, everyone else usually tells some jackass story about their cat which makes us just want to ridicule the entire thing. So we asked you to amuse us and answer this question: What is your Jeopardy interview story? Seeing as we only got two responses, the staff will go first, then the regulars, and then a fun little game. Enjoy! (Because the clock is ticking) Continue Reading »

We’re back from Las Vegas and we’ve got stories to share, but those will have to wait until Thursday. Why? Because although being in Las Vegas often feels like pure fiction and fantasy (it is – especially when it’s YOUR bachelor party), that answer is disqualified because you can actually go there anytime you want. Our focus today is on places you can’t actually go. We asked you last week: If you could visit one fictional world from television, movies, literature, which would it be? Our readers’ diverse choices are inside, but first the CJS Staff. Continue Reading »

 Much like the only guarantees in life are death and taxes, there are also guarantees in advertising. These guarantees are sexy broads will try to sell beer, Taco Bell will continue to focus on the drunk college aged demographic, and cereal will use cartoons to appeal to children. The thing about these guarantees are one, beer sells itself. Seriously, have you had beer? The stuff is awesome. Two, Taco Bell is always the best option when you’re drunk (unless you are near that gyro vendor in Old Town Ft. Collins) and only when you’re drunk. And three, is it absolutely necessary to use cartoons to make sugary cereals more alluring to children?

It’s this last thing that I have been focusing too much attention and anger towards lately. I should really watch less children’s programming and act my age. But there are a few things about this advertising practice that have really been bugging me, and few things that I am ok with.

I figured the best way to go about this was to break it up by company. Then look at their top offenders or characters. Let’s pour the milk on this thing and spoon our way to the bottom. Continue Reading »

Ralph Wiggum put it best when he said, “Fun toys are fun!” That they are, Ralph, that they are. So we asked you to take a look back at your childhood and the fun times you had with your fun toys and tell us which of those toys was your favorite. Hart and Dagger are first, then our readers’ responses, then after that you can all enjoy the day off and play with your toys. Continue Reading »

One of the worst things about television are those pesky 3 minute breaks during shows. In these 3 minute breaks, we are bombarded with advertisements for all sorts of products, many of which we do not need. For the most part these advertisements are forgettable or obnoxiously unforgettable. There are however a few that are awesome, like this one. But since everyone’s taste is different, we wanted to know what your favorite commercial is. So here are a few words from our sponsors before we return you to your regularly scheduled CJS programming. Continue Reading »

It has been said that good fences make good neighbors. I say good actors and good writers can make good neighbors. Many television shows have a neighbor character who never makes a lasting impression. While other shows include neighbors who add a lot to the story and the show. This article is about those neighbors. So get ready to borrow a cup of sugar and a cup of advice. Continue Reading »

The CJS Monday Confessional ends its stay on the desert island this week, and now that you’ve decided what you’ve got your tunes and you’ve got your brews, what’s left? Well, both music and beer are best enjoyed in the company of some friends. So we’ve signed a pact with the devil and promised to kidnap celebrities, yank them out of their homes and jobs and deliver them straight to your island. We asked you to tell us: What 3 famous people would you like to hang out with on your desert island? And you responded below. Staff answers first and regulars follow. You’ll find a brand new question at the bottom. Let’s see who the unlucky stars are who have to leave whatever happiness they have to spend their days on an island with your boring asses. Continue Reading »

Now I am not sure if I am maturing or the cartoons these days just flat out suck. But I find that I hate them all. Between that, the Scooby Doo marathon last weekend and the drunken night I passed out at a friend’s with the TV on Boomerang I have felt nostalgic for some of the cartoons I used to love so much. Luckily for me there is Youtube.

There are two possibilities of what will happen if I re-watch some of these cartoons. I will either feel giddy with joy as I remember a life less frightening, or I my memories will be better than the cartoon actually is. In which case I will blame the sugary haze I spent my youth in. Continue Reading »

YouTube is likely the apex for time-wasting and pointlessness our culture will ever achieve. Twitter, Facebook, and a whole slew of other narcissistic time sinks are charging hard, but when seeking to achieve absolutely nothing, connecting with absolutely no one, and going absolutely nowhere outside your fart encrusted desk chair for hours on end, nothing beats YouTube.

I’ve watched Keyboard Cat play off hapless schlemiels more times than I can count. I consider that “Boom Goes the Dynamite” Guy a close personal friend after our many hilarious late night Internet rendezvous.

But lately, even though there’s a whole world out there to explore and I have a ton of shit to do besides, YouTube has sucked me back in and I find myself watching the opening themes from cheeseball ‘80s and early ‘90s sitcoms. Here are my 10 current favorites. Continue Reading »

Holden: So, uh, what do you wanna do tonight?
Banky Edwards: I dunno. Get a pizza, watch “Degrassi Jr. High”.
Holden: You got a weird thing for Canadian melodrama.
Banky Edwards: I got a weird thing for girls who say, “Aboot.”

Whether it’s Canadian melodrama, reruns of The Golden Girls, or an Andrew Dice Clay movie; we all have something we enjoy watching that we would never tell a first date or our ball busting friends about. But this is the internet, home of anonymity, so we are going to share ours with you. And we only thought it fair that you share one of yours. So we continue Guilty Pleasure month with the question: What movie or television guilty pleasure do you have? Go ahead and read on, then you can get back to the “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!” fan page. Continue Reading »

As you may have noticed, I often allude to the Muppets on this website. I don’t do this out of nostalgia or irony, nor are the Muppets a guilty pleasure of mine, but more on that on Monday. I reference the Muppets because I genuinely and sincerely love the Muppets. Now it’s time to light the lights; it’s time to dress up right; it’s time to get things started. Continue Reading »

With the upcoming Land of the Lost movie, and maybe because I watched the recent Get Smart remake this weekend, I started thinking about other film adaptations of classic television shows. While a lot of them miss the mark there are a few that I have enjoyed multiple viewings of. I have picked my three favorites as well as three I wouldn’t watch if I was trapped in my home and they were the only form of entertainment. I would literally rather stare at a blank wall than watch these movies again. So grab a glass of Bosco and a Lucky Strike cigarette and let’s get to it. Continue Reading »

In my last post about the show “Lie To Me” I compared Dr. Cal Lightman, the main character played by Tim Roth, to House, the title character of a similar Fox show. On the surface, both of these characters are similar – both are basically entertaining jerks, both have a staff of people who seek to impress them, both use a methodology of detection that no one else can seem to figure out, and both speak with a British accent.

And while I’ve never seen a full episode of “House, M.D.,” I’ve read enough about both the character and the show to feel to have an adequate grasp of them both. As I watched the season finale of “Lie To Me” I was struck by how the similarities are not only skin deep, they run much deeper. The stories of each character are really nothing more than updated superhero allegories. Continue Reading »

Many times on television the characters spend a lot of time at some kind of restaurant/bar/coffee shop. This is their usual hang out. I’ve never had a usual hang out. There have been many bars I prefer, but no single usual place I, or any of my friends, go almost exclusively. I thought I would take a look at a few of the usual hang outs of a few popular TV shows and weigh in on what would be awesome and not awesome about each place. I was looking for places that were not the main setting. This is why Cheers is not mentioned. Thought I would clear that before I got a lot of letters. Continue Reading »